build me up, buttercup

so last night i went out with some of mah girls -- two from Chatham and one other girl from CMU. It was a blast and I got to visit the coolest coffee shop I've been to. It has a massive garage door as the storefront, and it opens to let people just enjoy the outside air. i wish I had taken pictures of the place instead of the surrounding area.

anyway, I discovered something new and shiny and brilliant today -- LEGO accessories.
yeah, i know right?

i loved building with Legos as a kid and I really never grew out of that. I mean -- i'm not a super brilliant Lego architect like some of my friends, but I still loved it. So I was absolutely ecstatic to find these and learn that I can make my own -- and do my own DIY geek chic!

Marc Jacobs did some, and I guess this desginer called Kasi Made did some awesome stuff too.

check it ooouuutt!!


now i have some awesome inspiration for my own projects! now my only problem is getting my hands on some old legos -- being away at school makes this slightly difficult. o_

and the hero of this story don't need to be saved

today i finally trimmed up my bangs on my own. that was a bit of an experience. ;)

i met a new girl named Christine who is an absolute sweetheart -- i do hope that we become friends. She came over and made pancakes with me after Mass and that was a blast!

so i love this dress that i got yesterday -- for SUPAH CHEAP! (i have been wanting this dress for ages, so glad that i got it)

i just love feeling like a child. like the day could just go on forever and that play time never ends.




... alas, i do have homework and laundry to do.

dang being a grownup!

dress - BBDakota, via Jupe, shoes - Kimchi Blue via Urban Outfitters, bow headband - Forever 21, leaf cuff - Forever 21

looking as innocent as possible to get to they want and what they want -- its easy if you do it right

i'm exhausted. beat. but absolutely in love with this bow headband that i bought yesterday. its priceless. and according to a number of people, i pull it off quite well. hehe. ^_^

today i went to my first Pitt football game. i didn't thoroughly enjoy it, but i did meet some cool kids at the tailgate. part of me wishes i had just gone to the tailgate and not the game. meh.

i'm feeling a little all over the place right now -- kinda in the self-hate phase but at the same time i know that i need to keep my chin up. blech.

i also premiered another one of my outfits today -- and ended up with nacho cheese and chocolate on it. lamecakes! oh well -- it looked good. :)




bow headband - forever 21, shoes - kimchi blue via Urban Outfitters, shorts - H&M, shirt - H&M, leaf cuff - forever 21, belt - secondhand from my mother

you've gotta try to remember the weight of the tide

Today, i went shopping.

fun shopping. with Marie and Emily.
and i had a BLAST.

i got so many cute things that you will see over the course of the next week (likely).
i'm so ecstatic with so many of my purchases.

and i saw a plush labbit, and I thought of Nasha. so cute. :)

goodness, there was so much stuff too.
we went to Jupe, a little indie clothing store on the Southside.
Then we went to H&M, Urban Outfitters, and Forever 21. It was beautiful, beautiful, chaos.

and i loved it.

I came out of the experience with one outfit that I felt that I had been missing: a sailing outfit.

Now, I don't sail -- but I felt that if I did, this outfit would fit quite perfectly.





hat -Kimchi Blue via Urban Outfitters, shoes - Cheng's via Urban Outfitters, dress - Forever 21, necklace - Target

cause i'll tell you everything about being free

today was beautiful. gorgeous. wonderful. amazing.

why?

because i got all of my work done for class and i participated and paid attention.
because i wore my Wall-e pajamas to class and people loved it.
because i got in a great discourse in my writing class, which i have previously been absolutely terrified in.
because it was sunny and glorious.
because i get to go play volleyball soon.
because my professors are pretty awesome...
and my advisor is even more awesome.

*sigh*

y'know -- i'm just gonna try to be happy and be me today.

life is beautiful!





shirt - Disney store, little boys' section (YES!!!), pants - handmade by moi, fabric from Joann fabrics, shoes - DC shoes, hat - Sidecca

happiness damn near destroys you

so i had been having a wonderful, beautiful day. i woke up, got ready, went to a meeting for the Newman Clubs and participated (yay!), talked and walked with Father Josh, did homework, and played games. and lots of foosball. and more games. and more foosball. and i almost beat Father Josh. so close. but alas. i did not. and at the end of the night i was hoping that Stephen and i would play each other but he just left. and things kinda went downhill for the next 10 minutes. and i felt horrible.

knowing what happiness feels like is absolutely brutal when you are experiencing the basic opposite.

and trying my best to be happy and fight through my heartache is tough, but i know i need to do it.

anyway, i still have homework to do so i'm going to go do that now!





shirt - Sidecca, shorts - Reebok, secondhand from my mom, belt - secondhand, tights - Target, headband - Claire's, shoes - Rocketdog

I'm fraudulent, a thief at best, a coward who paints a bulls*** canvas

So lately I've been trying to deal with some problems, issues, and deficiencies on my part.

i feel like i'm fading but that i'm growing stronger at the same time. its a hard concept to grasp, i know. but after all these years of being so selfish and impatient and prideful, i finally want to tear that all down. i want to, but i'm having a difficult time getting past the roadblocks in my heart.

so i'll send up a prayer in hopes that God will get me there
and i'll stop painting bulls*** and learn to paint me
even though what i have to put down isn't all that wonderful
i don't want to be fake anymore


aaand here is Sunday's version of my outfits -- church clothes. :)

could you please listen while i figure things out

Wow -- it has been nine days since I've been on the blog.
in the process of it all I have moved myself in, done a ton of other different things, and found some heartache, joy, and disconcert in my life.

My melancholy is hard to shirk but i'm hoping that it leaves soon. i want to be happy and i want to figure things out. life is crazy and i am praying for the rainbow at the end of all this crazy rain.

so here's some pics of my new room and my new style -- there will definitely be more to come as long as i keep up with my laundry!




shirt - mossimo via target; culottes - vintage via etsy; belt - secondhand; necklace - target, headband - gift, shoes - rocketdog

honey i'm home!

i'm back in Pittsburgh!
aaaand.... i'm exhausted but can't sleep.
i think i'm too excited.

and all i can keep thinking about is: "how can i make the space in this room go farther?"

ah... you can tell i'm jetlagging it already.

its 3 am -- and i want to be up at 730.

how you exist when you're living in a dreamworld

i leave in about an hour and a half! i am so excited, but last night i had quite a spell of falling apart. Considering that i haven't done much of that in a while, it surprised me, but I think it was good for me to get it out. i am both extremely excited and a bit terrified of going back to a place that holds so many memories for me. but considering that right now i feel like i'm caught in a melancholy stagnancy, almost like i'm living in a dream. i want to get out of it and get back to reality, get back to daily living and being able to grow and change. at home i just don't feel like i have that opportunity so much. so in that respect, i cannot wait to get back to Pittsburgh. i can't wait to get back to real life. don't get me wrong -- i will miss my family terribly, and i love them more than anything -- but right now at this point, i need friends.

so i begin the journey today, taking my step out of the awkward in-between.

"ready to go"


"DEJALO!"

write.erase.repeat

i leave for Pittsburgh in less than 14 hours! i am so very excited to return to my home away from home -- and make my dorm feel like home for me. in the process i've been looking for a lot of stuff to make it more personal.

it just occured to me that having a little blackboard might be a great idea. :)

here are some of the ones that i've found that i really like...

Chalk Thoughts

Chalkboard Vinyl Message Center

Round Speech Bubble Chalkboard Decal

i am absolutely in love with these -- i have a feeling that i might end up getting one or two of them eventually. ;)

i just love the ability to take something and recreate with it. i like the speech bubbles the most for something creative to play with -- but i like the message center for day-to-day planning.

hmm....

its your gradual descent into a life you never meant

i find that doing things deliberately and with purpose often leads to heartbreak and pain -- but going through life without trying anything, without attempting anything monumental, without loving with all you have can leave you empty. i would rather feel pain and heartbreak tenfold than to be numb.

I did all this deliberately --
i decided that i was going to find something that made me happy and made me smile.
something that could fill a little bit of my life without eating my life completely.
i decided to cut my hair and fall in love with style.

...we'll see how i come out of it.

i promised myself that i would never again lead a life unexamined.

... i also promised myself that i would never again lead a life based on what other people think.

this is me.

...this is the life i mean for me. starting now.

~*~*~

so i've been searching around, looking for things and trying to set up how my dorm will look when i get back, etc. here's are a few things i found...

The Wave Pillowcase Set

Complete Embellishing by Kayte Terry

Born-Again Vintage

...there was other stuff...
oh...yeah.
this chair that i'm trying to get! (I want a chair to be able to chill and play my bass in... i think this would also be good as a prop for taking pictures :))


it looks like a good chair -- the wood is absolutely beautiful and the color of the upholstery is good too -- just needs a little lovin. :)

and for the curtain between Kate's side and my side -- i'm looking at these -- help me decide!