Wednesday, August 19, 2009

how you exist when you're living in a dreamworld

i leave in about an hour and a half! i am so excited, but last night i had quite a spell of falling apart. Considering that i haven't done much of that in a while, it surprised me, but I think it was good for me to get it out. i am both extremely excited and a bit terrified of going back to a place that holds so many memories for me. but considering that right now i feel like i'm caught in a melancholy stagnancy, almost like i'm living in a dream. i want to get out of it and get back to reality, get back to daily living and being able to grow and change. at home i just don't feel like i have that opportunity so much. so in that respect, i cannot wait to get back to Pittsburgh. i can't wait to get back to real life. don't get me wrong -- i will miss my family terribly, and i love them more than anything -- but right now at this point, i need friends.

so i begin the journey today, taking my step out of the awkward in-between.

"ready to go"